When I started day trading years ago, before I discovered that I am fully responsible for all I do – the market hit me harder and harder each day.
However, if you stick it out, know this is what you want to do (I never had a plan B), you actually wake up and realize – WAIT the market isn’t going after me. It had nothing to do with me taking the wrong trade, getting out too soon, moving my stop, etc… It’s all me, my fears, my stories, my self doubts – MY LACK OF SELF LOVE.
YES!!! – Lack of self love is what makes you get pissed at yourself, what makes you beat yourself up for each wrong move you make. It’s amazing how harsh we can be to ourselves. I was constantly running the same stories in my head – “how could I fuck up again, I know what I’m doing.” “What is my fucking problem, how can I be sooo stupid at this.” “Again, what are you thinking, Marina, how can you constantly be doing the same mistake over and over again, losing so much money, I am definitely insane.” and so on and so forth – this was my automatic pilot.
We all know this. We all do it. The only difference with trading, because it’s so intense and you have to be so disciplined and controlled, that it happens more often.
Finally, after a couple of years, when I had my biggest breakdown (always leads to a breakthrough) did I realize, it has NOTHING TO DO WITH MY TRADING. Nothing! It’s all about me, it’s all about how I handle myself.
The market never lies, it isn’t after us, actually TODAY I believe it is there to work with us.
However, it’s when I started to practice self-love – and trust me this is a practice and at first it feels so wrong and so weird. But after a while it becomes the norm.
Today, when I make a wrong decision, take a wrong trade, do something I shouldn’t in my every day life outside of trading I NEVER bash myself, I am compassionate and understanding and kind to myself. The same I would be to my kids, my husband, family members and friends. You would never say the shit you say to yourself to them if they did the exact same thing, why do we do it to ourselves?
If anything, we should love ourselves more than anyone else, because if we don’t, why should anyone else.
Maybe I would have come around to discovering self-love, but since Day Trading brought me to this space – I am so grateful to be here and because of that not only did my trading improve by a million, but every part of my life did too.
Let’s make self-love our NEW NORM!